DUBLIN BELLYBUSTERS

This time, this day, one year ago, I was taking my seat in the Full Tilt One Million Pound Challenge in London. It was a brief affair for me on the felt but it was nonetheless an enjoyable experience. I met Michael Craig in person, a fellow Bellybuster with whom I have kept in good contact. His story is one I would like to emulate and perhaps surpass over the next few years. A poker-lover and author, he has successfully transformed himself into far more than his title as 'friend' of Full Tilt. In 2008, he was the 143rd best online player (OPR). In the 2009 WSOP, he placed 2nd to Jeffrey Lissandro in the $3K Razz Event for $116K. I also met mobster Joe Beevers, a Bellybuster newbie at the time who has continued his accosiation with our wee gang. The eventual winner of the Event, Adam Noone has also joined our ranks.

In the past 365 days, I have penned 95 blogs; some long, some short (all hilariously funny!) but all of which I hope gave a flavour of what life as a small-time poker player is like. My aim was to write something which could be enjoyed by both poker afficionados and 'Joe the Plumber'. I hope that I have succeeded in this aim as I really want this blog to be read by as many people as possible.

It has been nice for me to read back some of the old blogs and see how far I've come as a player in the past twelve months. The leap has been significant and I can only hope that I will continue to improve. It has also been nice to read them back in the context of what was going on in the world at the time - financial crises, political landscape, WSOP, how Dr Fill Good's game deteriorated, etc.

Two weeks ago, I proudly declared 'Mission Accomplished', having narrowly avoided a negative month for the first time since becoming a professional poker player. Now I realise that it's a bit silly to get fixated on monthly targets but at the same time, it was a record I wanted to preserve. I made a paltry $500 in August but I came into September on a $4500 upswing and perhaps, more importantly, with renewed positivity.

Fourteen days into the month and I can honestly say that all of my positivity has been kicked out of me. I'm only down a couple of K butI have put in obscene volume in the hopes of a big month. I have taken the worst run of beats in my poker career and I am seriously thinking of quitting for the month. Anthropologically, the worst three qualities of the species known as 'the poker player' are tilty aggression (swearing, mouse-throwing and wall-punching), obsession (playing an extra session late into the night instead of sleeping coz you desperately want to get back on track) and crybaby-whinging (constant complaing, chatbox spamming with bad beat hand-histories and 'poor me' self-pity). Normally a pretty stoical guy, I am demonstrating all three of these pathetic behaviours on a daily basis.

I am normally comforted by the adage: "Everything that happens in poker 'can' happen in poker". In other words, nothing is rigged (unless you play on Absolute Poker) but equally, there is no short-term justice. One glance at my sharkscope graph proves that there is nothing out of the ordinary happening. All of my stats suggest that I am enduring normal, acceptable swings. Sadly for me, it just doesn't feel that way. I have never spent 6 weeks breaking even before and breaking even sucks. Like Sysyphus or Estragon, I'm futily grinding. I'm pushing boulders, getting crushed and starting over. I'm not moving and waiting...