Fuck me, I'm running bad this week...
Tuesday Night: Go to bed with a pain in my side.
Wednesday Morning: The pain moves to my groin.
Wednesday Afternoon: Pass a stone from one vital organ into another.
Wednesday Night: Pain moves to my lower back.
Thursday Morning: Michelle convinces me not to take my painkillers.
Thursday Morning (an hour later): While eating the most disgusting and disgustingly over-priced breakfast at the airport, the pain in my side returns. I thank Michelle for her marvelous wisdom and chew down my tablets.
Thursday Afternoon: Can't find my hotel in Amsterdam. Michelle begins to doubt it exists.
Thursday Night: Lose $500 in less than an hour of live cash game poker in the Holland Casino (two coolers when I ran Ace-8 of hearts into 99 on a 873 board with two hearts and a set with the nut flush draw into a boat on a AK9K board).
Thursday Night: Bank charges me a $22 fee to release another $500 of my own money from my account - the transaction was completed before I realised that I had been royally fisted!
Thursday Night (an hour later): Michelle flops the nuts and I flop a flush draw with an over card. Needless to say I was in no mood to slow-play my draw. Her 'nuts' rightly holds and I am felted yet again.
Friday Evening: I buy into the $200 NLHE Tourney in the Holland Casino and having played good poker for two hours, I donked my chips off to the fucktard who was raising any two cards preflop. I flopped top pair and turned two pair. Obviously he had flopped the nuts! Next hand, he raises from the Cut-Off and with A9 and a stack of only 10 BBs, I shoved. Obviously he had woke up with two queens and flopped a third to send me packing.
Friday Night: I wish Michelle well as she sits pretty with a top10 stack of 60 BBs and make my way to the Roulette machines. I decide to set fire to $100, figuring that if I just put $20 on black, I might get an hour or two of mindless entertainment out of it. I'm wrong as the first five spins all land on red.
Friday Night (10 minutes later) aka NOW: I take Michelle's computer to the bar across the road from the casino to bitch and moan about my woes in a blog.