DUBLIN BELLYBUSTERS

Two weeks ago, I proudly declared 'Mission Accomplished', having narrowly avoided a negative month for the first time since becoming a professional poker player. Now I realise that it's a bit silly to get fixated on monthly targets but at the same time, it was a record I wanted to preserve. I made a paltry $500 in August but I came into September on a $4500 upswing and perhaps, more importantly, with renewed positivity.

Fourteen days into the month and I can honestly say that all of my positivity has been kicked out of me. I'm only down a couple of K butI have put in obscene volume in the hopes of a big month. I have taken the worst run of beats in my poker career and I am seriously thinking of quitting for the month. Anthropologically, the worst three qualities of the species known as 'the poker player' are tilty aggression (swearing, mouse-throwing and wall-punching), obsession (playing an extra session late into the night instead of sleeping coz you desperately want to get back on track) and crybaby-whinging (constant complaing, chatbox spamming with bad beat hand-histories and 'poor me' self-pity). Normally a pretty stoical guy, I am demonstrating all three of these pathetic behaviours on a daily basis.

I am normally comforted by the adage: "Everything that happens in poker 'can' happen in poker". In other words, nothing is rigged (unless you play on Absolute Poker) but equally, there is no short-term justice. One glance at my sharkscope graph proves that there is nothing out of the ordinary happening. All of my stats suggest that I am enduring normal, acceptable swings. Sadly for me, it just doesn't feel that way. I have never spent 6 weeks breaking even before and breaking even sucks. Like Sysyphus or Estragon, I'm futily grinding. I'm pushing boulders, getting crushed and starting over. I'm not moving and waiting...